Think that dolmade with a side of hommus is just an innocent, based-on-a-whim choice? Think again. It speaks volumes about your psyche and who you are as a person. Sorry to say but your every decision carries the weight of being a window straight into your dolmade-loving soul. In a place like Turkey, there’s almost an endless amount of dish choices so at any meal of the day; welcome to the wonder that is mezze!
This shared-style of eating is the ultimate in holiday feasting; making friends, sharing travel stories and discovering new dishes together. But whether you know it or not, the plate you pick from the mezze platter, says more about you than you’re likely comfortable with. So you know exactly what you’re communicating to the world, we’ve peered deep into our Turkish coffee grounds to come up with this ‘highly accurate’ analysis of your personality traits based on the dishes you choose from a mezze platter.
Babaganoush
Mashed smoky eggplant, ey? Hmm… Interesting, my friend, very interesting. Your love of smoky flavours suggests you were a whisky-swilling, pipe-puffing Scottish Highland dweller in a past life.
Hommus
The ‘basic bitch’ of mezze, the only thing that’s beige about hommus is the colour. Your choice of this delicious chickpea dip reflects a long harboured fear that if people knew you pined for colour as much as you do, they’d know you are, in fact, a rainbow-loving leprechaun. So you stick with all the beige things, to throw them off track. Makes sense, right?
Pickles
Someone needs to hold you back. Pickles are like your kryptonite and if it was acceptable (or tasted good) you’d eat them on your cereal too. Instead, you get your fix when on holidays by eating them on everything.
Kofte
F-A-N-C-Y, say it with me now…Fancy. Because that’s what you are. Just go with it though, why change what ain’t broke.
Calamari
You must be a ringmaster the way you finish off those perfectly fried, tender calamari circles. You’ve never met a serve of crunchy calamari that you didn’t like, and that’s just how people feel about you. Friendly, outgoing and with just the right amount crisp, you’re a people pleaser that knows how to turn on the charm.
Smoked Mackerel
You are wise beyond your years for choosing such an impeccable mezze. Perhaps you’ve done this before? You take food, and yourself, seriously so you need no-nonsense mezze to match your appetite.
Falafel
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Choosing falafel is the ultimate red herring; people think you’re a card-carrying, incense burning hippie at heart but really, you’re a secret meglomaniac yuppie with a penchant for compartmentalising everything, even your food.
Muhammara
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So you like a bit of razzle dazzle, then? This hot pepper dip with ground walnuts, bread crumbs, garlic, salt, lemon juice, and olive oil is the perfect complement to your jazz hands, which are constantly on show.
Haloumi
You’re a classicist who understands that not everything has to be showy, to be good. You leave the complicated, elaborate dishes to your friends because you know the real value of simplicity.
Tarama
You’re a sea-faring type, who may have been a sailor in a past life. Your wobbly sea legs make your walk a little unsteady, and your salty heart will forever yearn for the sea.
Tashi
Woah, garlic fiend. With a garlic obsession like that, you are basically the North Korea of mezze eaters: hostile, mysterious and closed off to the outside world. Your love of this tahini and garlic dip, on the other hand, knows no bounds.
Olives
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Olives are a transcendent choice; these orbs of perfection have started wars* throughout the ages and you only eat food that is worth warring over. You’re dramatic like that.
*probably not 100% factual
Talk to us. Are you a falafel or an olive?
Not sure? Head to Turkey here and share your results with us.
